The Michael Nelson Comedy Mail Room — 1
March 7, 2010 // 9:54 pm
To: michaelnelsoncomedy.com
Subject: Facebook Stalker
Dear Michael,
Just want you to know that I just watched your “Facebook Stalker” short film. I am extremely hard to please when it comes to films, especially short films.
Until the, in my opinion, unnecessary cursing began, this film was absolutely hilarious! I was “busting a gut” until the cursing started. Then I felt as though the film had been ruined, and I was disappointed that you felt it could not stand on its own. I assure you it could have!
May I suggest you perform some informal testing in the future. First let people watch your film without the cursing, then with, and ask your audience which they prefer.
I wish you well.
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Dear michaelnelsoncomedy.com viewer,
My name is Guinevere Pewter and I oversee the mailroom for michaelnelsoncomedy.com. We appreciate your feedback and will do all that we can to make sure that any future viewings of our material will be a pleasant experience for you and yours. Since receiving your complaints about “cursing” in the short film “Facebook Stalker”, we have taken the necessary measures to make sure that this never happens again and we’d like you to review these measures and sign off on them:
Measure #1: We have enrolled Michael into a weekly Bible study class so that he may reconnect with the Good Book and get back to that wholesome biblical language we all strive for.
Measure #2 Last night, Michael went through a procedure where a node was inserted into his head. This node outputs an electrical shock every time he says a curse word.
Measure #3: Michael went on a week vacation to Bora Bora. We have no idea how this vacation will combat his cursing, but he insisted that it would and also asked for a “female plus 2” for this trip.
Measure #4: Michael adopted a child from Haiti. Having this child constantly around him will force him to use clean, child-safe language.
Measure #5: Any cursing from Michael will come in the form of sign language.
Measure #6: Michael has dumped anyone in his life that uses curse words. He now has no friends or family, but is happy to live in a cursing free environment. He doesn’t watch television or film.
Measure #7: Also, might we suggest that next time you write an email, write two versions of it; one complaining about cursing, and the other one not complaining about cursing. then, send it to your friends first and see which one they prefer.
We hope these measurements are satisfactory to you and we look forward to your feedback in the future.
All the bestest,
Guinevere Pewter
Michael Nelson Comedy Mail Room
Ext. 24b76ef
